West Yorkshire, United Kingdom — The preacher stood over the casket that held the scant remains of a young fotopic.net employee, and read a – slightly modified – biblical passage from Isaiah about a future heavenly capital: “Many lions shall be there, and many ravenous beasts.”
Already today, lions in the UK are living the life they deserve – the life of a king. Seems the British just love them more than the rest of the world. So it comes that they are even feed them more healthy food than anywhere else: On Thursday, a young programmer employed by fotopic.net was fed to a 7-years-old male lion for breaking fotopic.net’s image download feature. This feature is essential for other websites like, for instance, phixr.com in order to import images.
In an interview with a local TV station, Roland Decemberus, the only living relative to the last Roman emperor Romulus Augustulus, commented that lions never had better living conditions, not even during the time of the Roman empire.
In the meantime, fotopic.net’s download feature has been repaired, and a company spokesman said that even the upload feature might work in the near future. Update: Upload now works (despite the unparsable response from fotopic.net)!